Friday, December 5, 2014

Terminator Genisys...WTF?




A time travel movie that travels into a world that already has time traveled?  We haven't seen that since Back to the Future II (1989).  At least BTTFII had the same actors and recut into the original film.  Robert Zemeckis thought it would be an interesting challenge to revisit a film from a different perspective.  This new Terminator film is all over the place!  It's in the Mc G future, established in Terminator Salvation (2009), it's in the James Cameron past from the original The Terminator (1984).

Using the same actors allows for cool things like this.  I don't care if it's 30 years later, maybe it's a sign you should leave it be.


True Terminator fans will acknowledge the films ended after Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991).  The writer/director James Cameron stated there was no need for a 3rd film because his story stopped after 2.  Cameron's terminator is about predestined fate and the future is what you make it.  The first Terminator lightly addresses this topic, it mostly centers on the love story between Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese, oh and some unstoppable machine made in Austria that kills people.

Deadly: It hurt so much to watch this film you could die from it.


Terminator 2's entire theme is that you can change the future, it can be better...or worse.  Cameron even filmed an ending where John Connor is all grown up with a family and Judgement Day never happened.  He scrapped the ending for a more ambiguous figure it out for yourself close, which allows the audience think for themselves on what many write off as a simple action film.

Maybe a nuclear explosion detonated a few moments later...


We would have never seen another Terminator film if it wasn't for the fact that Cameron decided to cheat on his wife while making Titanic (1997).  Part of the divorce agreement gave the Terminator rights to Linda Hamilton who went and sold them to the highest bidder.  Because of this we got Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003).  Terminator 3's message was you can't cheat fate.  I wonder if Hamilton decided to grant the rights to whoever was willing to make a film that said her husband's first two films were wrong?  Terminator 3 took Terminator 2 and said "frak you! You cannot change what's meant to happen."  It was a super bummer.  Not only the message or because the movie was blah but also we had to deal with 2 hours of Claire Danes and Nick Stahl.

I want to hate him but I can't because he makes such awesome sequels.


Then comes director Mc G.  He creates an awesome follow-up called Terminator Salvation.  A fun flick that could be argued as a continuation of T3 or a prequel to the original Terminator.  Many of us at "I Like To Play With Toys" Productions® would like to think T3 never happened and consider Terminator Salvation as a prequel that takes place in the future.  It shows the war against the machines, something many fans wanted to see since the days of T2.  While T3 just rehashed the old storyline again, Salvation dropped the time travel piece and focused on Marcus Wright waking up in an apocalyptic future.  It was fresh and gave us some of the best Christine Bale soundbites ever.   We were promised a trilogy starring Bale and got crapola.

What kind of name is Mc G?


Now comes Terminator Genisys, ugg they don't even know how to spell genesis.  Terminator Genesis would be an awesome movie about an Austrian traveling back in time to prevent Phil Collins from killing Peter Gabriel to become the lead singer of the best progressive/pop/rock band of the 1980s.  Oh wait, I like Phil Collins Genesis, I guess Arnold Schwarzenegger would be the bad guy in this one.  Peter Gabriel and the early days of Genesis are boring.  Yes I said it, I like mainstream Genesis and mainstream music, screw you!

The hate between these two is wow...


Anyway back to the real issue.  Terminator Genisys is time traveling into the first film and screwing up everything.  It's also creating too many time paradoxes for an audience to accept.  An audience can accept one paradox, like how was John Conner born to lead a resistance that saved saved his father Kyle Reese to send him back in time to impregnate his mother...and save her life?  And what's the deal with the modern automobiles on the bridge if he's sent back to 1984?

Isn't anyone concerned about this end of the world paradox? Though it would be cool to see Arnold faint.  


The timeline changes are too vast, Arnold goes to Sarah's childhood, saves her, then she pops up in 1984 and saves Kyle Reese who's supposed to save Sarah.  Also, didn't we get enough of that film flam time jam stuff in the Fox TV show the Sarah Boring Chronicles?  Also Arnold is way old, Terminators can age now?  Uhh last time I checked cybernetic organisms don't age.  He's made to blend in and adapt.  He's got a neural net processor, a learning computer.  His intellect can grow and he can learn to love, but he doesn't age.

Somewhere in Time (1980) is the exact same movie as Terminator but without all the cyborg killing action.  


On the plus, this film is already saying you can change your fate so it's already better than T3.  But the negatives are the actors do not look anything like the original actors.  I know they cast based on the best performance but at least try to have some small resemblance to the previous actors otherwise your stuck with confusion.  It's like does anyone know if Patriot Games is a sequel to The Hunt for Red October or if the Ben Afflack and Chris Pine films count for anything?  No, no one knows.  No amount of James Earl Jones will clarify that!!!

Did I stutter?




Written by
Joseph Ammendolea
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®

Friday, November 28, 2014

Star Wars: The Force Awakens



The Star Wars teaser trailer is here and it looks awesome.  To be fair if they just showed a title with some Star Wars music I would have been said it looks awesome.  The storm trooper costumes look slightly different.  The red light saber with the mini saber things shooting our the sides look cool.  It makes the saber look like a sword.  The Millennium is awesome looking.  Awesome awesome awesome!

Written by
Joseph Ammendolea
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®

Friday, November 21, 2014

Alternate Officers - Roger Scene



Here is an alternate scene from Officers.  It was reshot for obvious reasons...it sucked.

Friday, November 7, 2014

An Ode to the Flu Shot

An Ode to the Flu Shot



Early September and Anthropological Reserves emails us
Sign up for your free flu shot, no muss, no fuss!
One day early October, prepare for your arm to ache
Make sure your appointment is set for during your lunch break.
Provide all your personal information on their website:
Are you allergic to Latex?  Yes but it will be all right.
Are you allergic to Thimerosal?
No one knows what that is, but if you are the shot will take its toll.
Print out the form; sign your health away
Now you’re ready for Free Flu Shot Day!



Weeks pass by; life goes on
The memory of signing up for the flu shot is gone.
One Wednesday in October, a calendar reminder pops up at noon
Time to line up outside the meeting room.
Guess you’ll skip lunch today,
You forgot you were getting the shot instead of eating, yay!
You realize, as you wait in line
Wearing a short sleeve shirt would have been just fine.
The long sleeves on your tight sweater are in the way
Pull down the sleeve to expose your shoulder, they say.



Anthropological Reserves frowns at your risqué display
You hurry to the nurse with your shirt half off to avoid delay.
She stares at you blankly as she fumbles with her glove
Jabs the needle in your arm with absolutely no love.
Off you go, back to work!
Put your shirt back on, don’t be a jerk.
Hours later, you’re feeling headachy and tired,
You shouldn’t call out sick tomorrow; you may get fired.
Feels like you were punched in the arm, your coworkers agree
The things we go through for something free!




Written by
Christmas Snow
Writer
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®

Friday, October 24, 2014

New York Comic Con 2014 Panels



In all the hoopla going on the best audio we managed to capture was while covering some of the panels at New York Comic Con.

We proudly attended what was promoted as the last NYCC Legend of Korra panel and as the video will highlight the awesome vibe that was emanating from the crowd for one of the best animated shows on TV cough cough excuse me I mean the Internet.



We also were at the Batman stamp event. With all the hubabalooh behind it, you'd expect something spectacular but as you stand there watching the event your easily reminded it's stamps.

The Green/White/Red Ranger Jason David Frank had some cool stuff to to say at his panel and managed his fans with a jokester attitude that keeps the long winded ones inline but still has enough respect and love to let them get their point out.  At some points it was hard to figure who was the bigger fan of Jason David Frank, the people at the panel or Jason David Frank.

yeah, this sums him up
The Star Trek Equinox panel was perfect for the hardcore Star Trek fan.  I am a huge Star Trek fan and was totally lost about what they were talking about.  I felt like I walked in halfway on an epic tale that was close to being completed and no one in the room wanted to fill me in on what I had missed.

What is this about???

Then we met Kevin Smith and found out that he's totally bald.  He was actually super nice to all his fans and ignored the people rushing him away and took the time to pose for pictures and really talk with everyone there.  That doesn't mean that we at "I Like To Play With Toys" Productions® suddenly like him or anything we're just saying he was nice to HIS FANS.

Sexy, not. (As lame as any Kevin Smith joke).

We discovered that Robert Kirkman, the creator of The Walking Dead is a masochist and likes it.  I suppose that wasn't really a shock.

Kirkman pictured with Rock and Darryl. 


Written by
Joseph Ammendolea
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®

2014 NYCC Vendors




New York Comic Con ran from October 9th – 12th 2014 and “I Like To Play With Toys” Productions® was there to tape this momentous pop culture event.  Sadly, due to technical issues our audio did not modulate properly and our fun video falls a little flat.  But do not stress because this article will summarize all the crazy video fun we had.

Our first stop was with the people of Medieval Times.  The interview was over-the-top awesome.  They stayed in character during the entire conversation.  When I asked them who their favorite knight was they proceeded to diplomatically pick each knight as their favorite.  I then asked when they would start using utensils at the Medieval Times and they kicked me out of their booth.  I didn’t even get the chance to barter for the purchase of the princess as my bride but I am guessing it would have cost a whole mess of land I did not own.  You can get tickets to all the awesome tournament action at medievaltimes.com.

It's an awesome place, the only downside is that it's located in New Jersey. 

We then spoke with the makers of Enormous, an apparently very popular comic book.  The booth was crowded and selling copies as if people did not know how to illegally download comics on the internet.  The Facebook page describes Enormous as “In the midst of a planetary battle for food and fuel, a vast ecological cataclysm spawns 'the enormous', massive beasts unlike anything ever witnessed. Humankind struggles to stave off extinction.”  That sounds like it would make a great movie.   Be sure to get all your Enormous information at www.theenormouscomic.com.

A snapshot from the upcoming Enormous movie.

A comic con would not be complete without speaking with the people behind Loaded Barrel Studios.  Usually we speak with either Jordan or Jared Barel but this year we got the to speak with Jordan and Jared Barel.  We learned that their name isn’t pronounced Barel, it’s actually pronounced Barel.  They also talked about their classic Brielle the Horror and the ongoing success with their crowd funding campaigns.  Definitely show your support to www.loadedbarrelstudios.com

Aren't the Barel brothers so dreamy? 

What can you follow a Barel brothers interview with? Ally, from All Bobble Heads.  She was funny and cute and was selling bobble heads.  Not just any bobble heads, personalized bobble heads.  We weren’t really interested in the bobble heads because Ally is a bit too awesome for the product.  I tried to get her phone number in the hopes of buying her dinner but she just referred me to the website www.allbobbleheads.com. 

Those 4 bridesmaids do not equal 1 Ally.

While Ally was all dreamy, Lindsey Ann was all business.  Her website sums up her talent much better they I ever will.
“Lindsey Ann studied the craft of Special Effects Make-up at “Make-up Designer” in New York City. With a passion for music and her strong skills as a make-up artist, “Symphony Blush” was born. She has brought her signature talents to all forms of media including Photo Shoots, Films, and Local Events.
Lindsey’s arsenal of unique skills include manipulating foam latex, silicone, gelatin, and prosaide transfer prosthetics, to go beyond basic make-up application and creating realistic masks and other visual effects that can bring the ideas from the written page to life. If you can imagine it, Lindsey can create it.”
You can access her talents at www.symphonyblush.com.

Not as sweet as Lindsey Ann but the only picture we could find.

While on the high of our makeup interview we figured we should keep the makeup theme going.  We came across future meteorologist Leena from Painted Pinups.  It was a calendar of girls painted as if they were dressed as cosplayers.  It’s a fairly simple concept but I made certain to talk to Leena as long as possible.  She was really really interesting to talk to.  The most interesting person I have ever spoken to.  I could have talked about any topic she wanted for as long as she wanted to discuss it.  I just had to consciously remind myself to retain eye contact during the entire conversation.  If you’re a bit lost as to why just go to paintedpinups.com. 

A super typhoon developed into a powerful post-tropical cyclone with impacts in parts of New York Comic Con.

Our last conversation was with one of the members of Lips Squared.  She made a point to pronounce it leapsquahrd.  She talked about her girl power song, “”I Got The Pussy Cat I Got The Power.” To me it seemed to be shameless filth, unlike the class act that is Painted Pinups, but who am I to judge?  She sang a bit of her song and it sounded lovely but there were no plans for a tour.  Perhaps some information will be posted on their website lipssquared.com.

Apparently the girls were trying to call someone a loser but didn't know what an L looked like. 


New York Comic Con has hundreds of awesome and lame vendors.  The vendors are more than willing to chat with you about their products in the hopes that you will purchase their items.   The next convention you attend be certain to chat these people up, you may make a new friend or get something for free. Most likely you’ll get conned out of some hard earned cash.  Either way it all goes to a good cause, the American economy. 



Written by
Joseph Ammendolea
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®