Friday, September 16, 2016

Movie Pitch – The Golden Girls

It really seems like a pitch that sells itself.  Three spunky gals in their 50s and one “says it like it is” 80 year-old woman tackling contemporary issues.  It was the first Sex and the City and with a better looking cast.  A feature film adaptation of this classic 80s/90s sitcom is the logical evolution.  The Golden Girls would take a look at ageism in the 21st century. 

How are people in their 50s revered in society today? How does a woman in her golden years manage a career, romantic relationships, adult children?

It would open with Sophia Petrillo accidentally causing the fire that burns down Shady Pines.  This would lead directly into her having to move back in with her slightly estranged daughter Dorothy Zbornak (our star).  Dorothy has just finalized her divorce with Stan, her husband who’s left her for his hot young secretary.  Part of the divorce settlement requires her to sell their home of 20+ years and split the cost of the sale with Stan.  So Dorothy is faced with having no home and taking in her outspoken mother.  Fate intervenes and she runs into Blanche Devereaux at a local supermarket who is posting flyers looking for roommates on the supermarket bulletin board. She’s looking for college guys but after a conversation with Dorothy over shared life experiences Blanche decides to rent to Dorthy and Sophia.  Blanche then receives a call and meets a naive Rose Nylund originally from St. Olaf Minnesota.  She’s recent moved to Miami Florida after the recent death of her husband.  Throwing in all the classic one-liners that made the original characters so loved and that’s act one. 

From there we break off into four different stories following our characters. 

Dorothy Zbornak

Dorothy’s son comes to her and reveals that he’s transgendered.  Her initial reaction is negative and she’ll explore all emotions a parent might face when dealing with this issue.  We’ll insert her classic sarcastic approach to life. She’ll seek guidance from Sophia with comedic results, her ex-Stan, her roommates, and learn life lessons from the students at the school where she teachers.  She’ll eventually come to the conclusion she loves and accepts her son no matter what.  

Blanche Devereaux

Blanche is an extremely sexualized character.  She’ll explore multiple promiscuous relationships with men and women.  While she practices safe sex it will not prevent her from finding out one of her old partners has AIDS.  Her emotions about potentially contracting the disease will be a rollercoaster.  She’ll find out she’s not infected but then set out to have more meaningful relationships with the same energy her promiscuity had.  She’ll eventually fall in love with a much younger man who meets all her physical desires.  They’ll have to navigate their relationship but she’ll eventually breakup with him to allow the man to pursue his dreams as his life is just starting out and she’s a more settled and confident individual.

Rose Nylund

Rose has recently moved to Florida from St. Olaf after the death of her husband.  She’s trying to find employment in a competitive job market.  She’s faced with competition from younger candidates willing to work for less money.  Despite her blonde airheaded persona, jobwise she’s got the experience and knowhow.  Rose will tell silly stories from her hometown much to the frustration of her fellow roommates.  Rose will eventually get a job and have to earn the respect of her younger colleagues as she proves her prowess in the workplace.

Sophia Petrillo

Sophia is our hero.  She’s no nonsense and says what she wants.  Her reaction to the transgendered grandson is that he doesn’t have the hair or the legs for it but she loves him no matter what.  She takes constant comments at all the girls and their dilemmas but helps focus them on what’s really important.  Rose needs a job, Dorothy loves her son, Blanche likes to have sex. 

Sophia is trying to fill her days with something to do.  She’s a retiree with no husband, no friends, and her roommates work all the time.  She’s lonely.  She eventually joins a local senior center and starts stirring up trouble.  They eventually elect her president of the center.  She goes onto reform the center and it gets the notice of a local politician.  She says some sassy things to the man and it makes the paper.  The film would end with people asking Sophia to run for a local office.  Her decision is left ambiguous.

Throughout the entire film the women should gather in the kitchen eating cheesecake and sharing stories while advising one another on how to handles their situations.  The film will end with them at the kitchen table sitting and talking knowing that no matter what they go through in life that can look to one another for support.

Written by
Joseph Ammendolea
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®

Friday, September 9, 2016

Mediocre Man in HD

A boy who thinks he's a superhero runs around trying to save people but ends up just annoying them.

Monday, August 29, 2016

Let's Play a Little Fashion Police!

These are the top and bottom looks of the 2016 VMA's.

(Disclaimer: don't come for me or troll me. This is all in good fun and it's helping pass the time since I'm stuck in traffic as a passenger. Also, if these people didn't want criticism they would have opted out of walking the carpet.)    

Top Honors

Nicki Minaj! Nicki is perfection in this impeccably tailored navy number. The body is everything and the hair is sleek and doesn't take away from the dress. I love the mermaid aspect, it's both edgy and dramatic in the best way possible!

Baddie Winkle, you slay Baddie! I don't even care that it's a bit nuts. I hope to be as cool AF at that age!

Miss Phi Phi O'Hara couldn't have gotten GaGa's meat lewk more perfect than if she were wearing the actual dress (which, fun fact has been jerkied to preserve it).

Miss Alaska, I'm a slave for your lewk and that body but girl get a better wig.

Lance Bass, not the most stylish look but kudos for the political message!

Snooki, you are classic Hollywood at its best, maybe not right for the edgy VMA carpet but still gorgeous.

Worst Dressed

Reject outfits from the film Krull.

Farrah Abraham. Girl, are you confused? Did you think you were off to the AVN awards or Comic Con? If this were Halloween or you were indeed attending Comic Con I'd say you nailed it but this is the VMA's not the costume contest at Delta Pi Nu. We've seen costumes on this carpet before but those were original concepts and had depth and intrigue. Do us all a favor and go back to Party City where this "look" belongs and while you're at it fire your stylist.

Jenny "JWoww" Farley. I think the dress and that bod is gorgeous but between the white foundation, the red lip, the tattoo sleeve and the hair it looks like Morticia Addams and Kat Von Dee had an accidental love child.

Laura Perlongo, I think pregnancy is a beautiful thing, without it none of us would be here. Having that said, I just don't get this. It's August in NYC and I'm sure you want to be as comfortable as possible but this look is all wrong. It's intended shock value is more unnecessary than shocking.

Miss CoCo Montrese, girl why is it your face never matches the rest of you? I understand that the cosmetic industry doesn't cater to WoC but girl you've been doing drag almost as long as I've been alive, figure that shit out. I applaud the attempt at the OG Queen B lewk but the breast plate makes it look like you have a conjoined doll arm. Plus, the original look may have been scandalous and barely there but at least it didn't look cheap.

Miss Detox, fab hat and that's about it.

Miss Roxxxie mid thigh length is not flattering on you, either go shorter or longer and be the self proclaimed thick and juicy girl that you are. This just makes you look out of proportion.

Last, but certainly not least, Bey. Girl, I love the color, I love some plumage and I love a nude illusion especially covered in crystals BUT I really think you could have done without the collar piece. It is literally swallowing you like Audrey 2 in Little Shop of Horrors. If this was worn to the Met Gala I think it would be received better, wrong dress for the wrong carpet.

Written by 
John Saric
Fashion Correspondent
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®

Friday, August 26, 2016


A man wakes up with no memory and finds he has heightened senses that drive him insane.  Written, directed, and edited by Matt Swiatocha.  Produced and starring Joseph Ammendolea.

Friday, August 19, 2016

2016 Eternal Con Outtakes

Interview Outtakes from the 2016 Eternal Con.

Friday, August 12, 2016

The Usual Rejects

Do you like popular movies, impov, and alcohol? The Usual Rejects has all of that.

Friday, August 5, 2016

SuperHeros Unlimited Part 2

Looking for a custom cosplay, halloween costume, or onesy then check out SuperHeros Unlimited.