Friday, October 21, 2016

Little Boy Kills Rabbit with Trix Cereal

Little Boy Kills Rabbit with Trix Cereal
(Bellmore, NY)

On the early morning of 10/21/2016 little Joe Scarola killed his bunny rabbit by feeding it Trix cereal.  Authorities released a statement stating the boy was watching vintage 80s commercials on YouTube when he saw repeated ads about a cartoon rabbit trying to get some cereal without success.  He felt it was a great injustice to society and proceeded to force feed his bunny until it fell into a diabetic coma and died. 

Scarola a Florida native now residing in Bellmore, NY didn’t seem to understand the nuances between animal food and people food.  What’s really baffling investigators is how he couldn’t tell the difference between a cartoon rabbit and real one. 

Maybe it's not that baffling.
No charges are being filed at this time.  We reached out to executives at General Mills the makers of Trix cereal regarding the toxicity of their cereal to bunny rabbits.  Their response to the incident was “Silly rabbit Trix are for kids.”

Written by
Joseph Ammendolea
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®

Friday, October 14, 2016

Prom - A Review On Reality

Prom had this annoying girl in it that was the star who was a goodie goodie that kept talking about how it's such an important thing in your life (when we all know it's not). She would not shut up about it. Every time she cried/almost cried I laughed and applauded. Of course she falls for the bad boy leather jacket with the shady past who has some punishment which causes them to have to work together. 

Wow, they are so different. She puts up posters and he gets books from his locker.
It was also a bit racist, the only real villain in the movie is the all star black athlete who is cheating on his black g/f with a sophomore white girl. They both leave him in the end so when he's voted king of the prom no one wants to dance with him. They could have humanized him a bit and shown that he was just a 17 yr old dude but they didn't because that's Disney! 

He didn't become the villain of the film until trying to date a white girl.
The sophomore girl likes the athlete and another dude her own age and at first chooses the glitter and glam of prom night and than realizes she should be with the boy who she shares similar rock band music interest with. 

They bond over their love of punk rock, but there is not punk rock anywhere in the soundtrack.
There is the girl who has her whole life planned with her b/f until she gets accepted to Parson fashion college in NY and won't being going to college with him. 

Girls never get accepted to medical school in film.  They all want to work in fashion. 
We can't forget the Ray Romano/Napoleon Dynamite hybrid who keeps asking every girl he sees to prom with comedic results and then ends up taking his sister, only to find the quirky funny girl he was looking for at the dance. 

Perhaps an illegitimate child?

It was better than Love Actually.

Worst film ever.

Written by
Steven Rogers
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®

Friday, October 7, 2016

Silicon Valley is Great

Silicon Valley is Great

I’m not talking about the California home of technology. I’m talking about the HBO sitcom Silicon Valley, It’s currently the Best Show on TV.  Why, you ask? Well for starters it’s hilarious.  Not Bob Saget America’s Funniest Home Videos hilarious, it’s sophisticatedly hilarious.  It’s a genuinely smart show that explores how corporations work.  If a person doesn’t understand how a board of directors works or the difference between a founder and a CEO, Silicon Valley explains it.  It doesn’t talk down or spend hours of exposition telling you how it works.  It just shows the audience in a cleverly written way.  Beyond that it’s smart, like the time they mathematically figured out how long it would take to jerkoff every dude in a room, or the moral debate on whether they should explain to a douchebag that his math is wrong for a death defying stunt. 

Beyond learning about how corporations function or more accurately malfunction, also going beyond their smart use of math, it’s inspirational.  It’s impossible not to be inspired the time our characters built their own servers because they were being boxed out of the market due to a lawsuit, the time they were experiencing heavy web traffic and needed retired coder and resident asshole Erlich Bachman to break out his wrist brace and pitch in.  Each failure on the show makes each success they achieve all the greater.  So if you’re looking for a hilarious show that teaches you why corporations cannot change the world but make money and also have some awesome math jokes in there, watch Silicon Valley.

Written by
Joseph Ammendolea
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®

Friday, September 30, 2016

Observations from watching Arrow

Observations from watching Arrow

My brother Frank recently became a fan of the CW series The Flash.  Every time he mentioned the show I made a point to mention how Arrow was an equally awesome show and he should check it out.  He eventually got around to watching Arrow and provided me this very accurate summary.

Some things I’ve picked up from watching Arrow.

         Laurel Lance needs to stop answering her door.  It never works out well for her.  And she should probably move from that apartment.

         The Starling City Police are the equivalent of Stormtroopers.  They can’t hit anything but are usually good at stopping bullets.

It looks like a fun place to work.
         Everyone always searches the club, but only searched the basement one time.  Again, very bad policing.

         Oliver and Tommy went to school with Laurel.  They were both the sons of billionaires; she was the daughter of a cop.  How’d that happen???

         The Glades is truly a comic book “bad neighborhood.”  Enough said.

         Everyone has face-to-face conversations with Arrow every episode yet no one ever recognizes him.  They’re all thrown by his Star Wars voice changer and Robin mask.  LOL

         Whenever Oliver Queen goes on a date or to handle some issue with his dysfunctional family.  He always ends up sending Roy Harper – a guy with very little training and serious anger management issues – to go follow some dangerous person and report back to him later.  “I’m going to talk to Thea about what’s bothering her.  Roy, you go track down this member of the League of Assassins and find out what she’s doing in Starling City.  Catch you later!”

"Hit these sticks for an hour and then go fight a super villain." 
Great show, though.  Finished Season 2 and am now into Season 3.  Season 2 was incredible – one of the best seasons of any show I’ve ever watched.


Written by
Frank Ammendolea
 brother of of our Owner/President Joseph Ammendolea 
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®

Friday, September 16, 2016

Movie Pitch – The Golden Girls

It really seems like a pitch that sells itself.  Three spunky gals in their 50s and one “says it like it is” 80 year-old woman tackling contemporary issues.  It was the first Sex and the City and with a better looking cast.  A feature film adaptation of this classic 80s/90s sitcom is the logical evolution.  The Golden Girls would take a look at ageism in the 21st century. 

How are people in their 50s revered in society today? How does a woman in her golden years manage a career, romantic relationships, adult children?

It would open with Sophia Petrillo accidentally causing the fire that burns down Shady Pines.  This would lead directly into her having to move back in with her slightly estranged daughter Dorothy Zbornak (our star).  Dorothy has just finalized her divorce with Stan, her husband who’s left her for his hot young secretary.  Part of the divorce settlement requires her to sell their home of 20+ years and split the cost of the sale with Stan.  So Dorothy is faced with having no home and taking in her outspoken mother.  Fate intervenes and she runs into Blanche Devereaux at a local supermarket who is posting flyers looking for roommates on the supermarket bulletin board. She’s looking for college guys but after a conversation with Dorothy over shared life experiences Blanche decides to rent to Dorthy and Sophia.  Blanche then receives a call and meets a naive Rose Nylund originally from St. Olaf Minnesota.  She’s recent moved to Miami Florida after the recent death of her husband.  Throwing in all the classic one-liners that made the original characters so loved and that’s act one. 

From there we break off into four different stories following our characters. 

Dorothy Zbornak

Dorothy’s son comes to her and reveals that he’s transgendered.  Her initial reaction is negative and she’ll explore all emotions a parent might face when dealing with this issue.  We’ll insert her classic sarcastic approach to life. She’ll seek guidance from Sophia with comedic results, her ex-Stan, her roommates, and learn life lessons from the students at the school where she teachers.  She’ll eventually come to the conclusion she loves and accepts her son no matter what.  

Blanche Devereaux

Blanche is an extremely sexualized character.  She’ll explore multiple promiscuous relationships with men and women.  While she practices safe sex it will not prevent her from finding out one of her old partners has AIDS.  Her emotions about potentially contracting the disease will be a rollercoaster.  She’ll find out she’s not infected but then set out to have more meaningful relationships with the same energy her promiscuity had.  She’ll eventually fall in love with a much younger man who meets all her physical desires.  They’ll have to navigate their relationship but she’ll eventually breakup with him to allow the man to pursue his dreams as his life is just starting out and she’s a more settled and confident individual.

Rose Nylund

Rose has recently moved to Florida from St. Olaf after the death of her husband.  She’s trying to find employment in a competitive job market.  She’s faced with competition from younger candidates willing to work for less money.  Despite her blonde airheaded persona, jobwise she’s got the experience and knowhow.  Rose will tell silly stories from her hometown much to the frustration of her fellow roommates.  Rose will eventually get a job and have to earn the respect of her younger colleagues as she proves her prowess in the workplace.

Sophia Petrillo

Sophia is our hero.  She’s no nonsense and says what she wants.  Her reaction to the transgendered grandson is that he doesn’t have the hair or the legs for it but she loves him no matter what.  She takes constant comments at all the girls and their dilemmas but helps focus them on what’s really important.  Rose needs a job, Dorothy loves her son, Blanche likes to have sex. 

Sophia is trying to fill her days with something to do.  She’s a retiree with no husband, no friends, and her roommates work all the time.  She’s lonely.  She eventually joins a local senior center and starts stirring up trouble.  They eventually elect her president of the center.  She goes onto reform the center and it gets the notice of a local politician.  She says some sassy things to the man and it makes the paper.  The film would end with people asking Sophia to run for a local office.  Her decision is left ambiguous.

Throughout the entire film the women should gather in the kitchen eating cheesecake and sharing stories while advising one another on how to handles their situations.  The film will end with them at the kitchen table sitting and talking knowing that no matter what they go through in life that can look to one another for support.

Written by
Joseph Ammendolea
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®

Friday, September 9, 2016

Mediocre Man in HD

A boy who thinks he's a superhero runs around trying to save people but ends up just annoying them.

Monday, August 29, 2016

Let's Play a Little Fashion Police!

These are the top and bottom looks of the 2016 VMA's.

(Disclaimer: don't come for me or troll me. This is all in good fun and it's helping pass the time since I'm stuck in traffic as a passenger. Also, if these people didn't want criticism they would have opted out of walking the carpet.)    

Top Honors

Nicki Minaj! Nicki is perfection in this impeccably tailored navy number. The body is everything and the hair is sleek and doesn't take away from the dress. I love the mermaid aspect, it's both edgy and dramatic in the best way possible!

Baddie Winkle, you slay Baddie! I don't even care that it's a bit nuts. I hope to be as cool AF at that age!

Miss Phi Phi O'Hara couldn't have gotten GaGa's meat lewk more perfect than if she were wearing the actual dress (which, fun fact has been jerkied to preserve it).

Miss Alaska, I'm a slave for your lewk and that body but girl get a better wig.

Lance Bass, not the most stylish look but kudos for the political message!

Snooki, you are classic Hollywood at its best, maybe not right for the edgy VMA carpet but still gorgeous.

Worst Dressed

Reject outfits from the film Krull.

Farrah Abraham. Girl, are you confused? Did you think you were off to the AVN awards or Comic Con? If this were Halloween or you were indeed attending Comic Con I'd say you nailed it but this is the VMA's not the costume contest at Delta Pi Nu. We've seen costumes on this carpet before but those were original concepts and had depth and intrigue. Do us all a favor and go back to Party City where this "look" belongs and while you're at it fire your stylist.

Jenny "JWoww" Farley. I think the dress and that bod is gorgeous but between the white foundation, the red lip, the tattoo sleeve and the hair it looks like Morticia Addams and Kat Von Dee had an accidental love child.

Laura Perlongo, I think pregnancy is a beautiful thing, without it none of us would be here. Having that said, I just don't get this. It's August in NYC and I'm sure you want to be as comfortable as possible but this look is all wrong. It's intended shock value is more unnecessary than shocking.

Miss CoCo Montrese, girl why is it your face never matches the rest of you? I understand that the cosmetic industry doesn't cater to WoC but girl you've been doing drag almost as long as I've been alive, figure that shit out. I applaud the attempt at the OG Queen B lewk but the breast plate makes it look like you have a conjoined doll arm. Plus, the original look may have been scandalous and barely there but at least it didn't look cheap.

Miss Detox, fab hat and that's about it.

Miss Roxxxie mid thigh length is not flattering on you, either go shorter or longer and be the self proclaimed thick and juicy girl that you are. This just makes you look out of proportion.

Last, but certainly not least, Bey. Girl, I love the color, I love some plumage and I love a nude illusion especially covered in crystals BUT I really think you could have done without the collar piece. It is literally swallowing you like Audrey 2 in Little Shop of Horrors. If this was worn to the Met Gala I think it would be received better, wrong dress for the wrong carpet.

Written by 
John Saric
Fashion Correspondent
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®