Friday, September 10, 2021

Fun With Dolls!

Not quite the original, not a remake. Remastered audio. 

Friday, September 3, 2021

Mediocre Man

The original Mediocre Man

Sunday, August 8, 2021

Friday, May 7, 2021

Movie Pitch – Home Improvement

Movie Pitch – Home Improvement

If any classic sitcom deserved a big screen follow-up it’s Home Improvement.  It’s the pinnacle of 90s sitcoms as well as one of the last decent three camera formatted shows.  Over 30 million people tuned into the last episode, a rating total that is almost impossible to achieve in the DVR age of television.  Unlike most TV shows that become movies and get a completely new cast, Home Improvement is in a position to be a feature that utilizes it’s original cast and follows-up with its characters where the show ended.

The film would open like most episodes did, with a huge construction stunt caused by the clumsy more power driven Tim the Tool Man Taylor on the set of his show Tool Time.  Since we last saw him in 1999 he’s grown to be a bigger hit than his nemesis Bob Villa.  This is all thanks to becoming a YouTube sensation after all his wacky accidents were uploaded to the video website.  From there his show has gone national via cable TV and he’s a modestly popular celebrity.  Al is still Tim’s assistant on the show and still one of the most popular personalities with Tool Time fans. 

Tim’s personal life appears to be as great as ever.  His marriage is happier than ever, his kids are all grown with their own families and careers.  The only thing missing in Tim’s life is his friend and former next door neighbor Wilson Wilson.  Wilson passed away a few years ago and Tim has been a bit lost on an emotional level without his friend and confidant to advise him on life’s struggles. 

After the big opening stunt and Tool Time wraps a person from the audience named John approaches Tim and reveals he’s Wilson’s illegitimate son.  He’s in his late 20s and decided to track Wilson down after the passing of his mother.  Wilson had a fling with a woman at some point in the 90s and unknowingly had a son with him.  While the John was trying to find his father he discovered Wilson passed away and the bulk of his estate was left to Tim Taylor.  Tim invites John over to his house for dinner later to talk things out. 

From there we’re reintroduced to Jill who’s prepping for their youngest son’s Mark’s wedding and is a complete crazy person.  Jokes ensue via Tim at the expense of his son and his future wife.  Randy arrives to the house with his wife and new born child.  They had planned on staying in a hotel but due to some sort of comedic issue they now have to crash at the Taylor home. 

We learn that Randy is a successful environmental lobbyist in Washington DC.  He still has his quick wit but is big on going green whenever possible.  Almost the complete opposite of Tim’s more power stance in the world.  It’s also revealed that Randy and Brad had a falling out.  

Brad lives in the same town a few blocks away. He’s worked his way into a middle-management position at Binford Tools.  He’s married to his childhood girlfriend Jennifer and they have a 5 year old daughter and 2 year old son. 

As they all prep for Mark’s wedding we learn that Mark is the regional manager of Harry’s Hardware which has expanded from a local mom and pop shop to a midsized chain in the Midwest.  It’s also a store Al is part owner of.  Mark’s future wife is an amateur female wrestler with some silly name we can hash out later.  

Al is Tim’s assistant on Tool Time and is the most popular personality on the show. His marriage failed and he was cleaned out in the divorce with the exception of Harry’s Hardware which Al turned into a small retail empire thanks to the popularity of the show. Al is single and looking for love, he is a bit selective because he does not wish to be with a Tool Time fan and also doesn’t want another failed marriage.  Al’s popularity causes him to receive an offer to host his own show.  Tim tries to persuade Al to stay with Tool Time stating that the show is only successful because of their team dynamic and solo they are lost.  Eventually Tim offers Al a co-host title which Al gladly accepts as their show transitions into a larger market. 

As Tim navigates the different relationships in the coming weeks to his son’s marriage, he starts to develop a bond with John and tell him stories about his late friend Wilson.  Remembering Wilson, bleeds into Tim’s life as he advises his family in his Tim Taylor way.  

Tim reconciles Brad and Randy, he helps Al find new love, helps Mark who is having marriage doubts, and befriends his future wrestler daughter in-law and her coworkers with comedic results, and he develops a relationship with Wilson’s son John.  

The film would end with Tim realizing that Wilson isn’t gone because his advice follows Tim around in all his decisions and the wisdom he passes along to his friends and family.  Tim accepts his role as the new Wilson with his own more power spin to it.  He invites John to celebrate his son’s wedding with him stating that Wilson was family to him and by extension his son is now family too.  The film will end with some comedic wedding shenanigans and Tim going nuts with more power gags and wreck the wedding, 

The ultimate sell of the film is the physical comedy related to all the stunts Tim pulled off.  So the gags would be similar to the TV show but on a much larger scale.  Tim would wreck office buildings, damage million dollar equipment, blowup stuff, annihilate cars, cause hilarious catastrophe at a wedding.  

Written by
Joseph Ammendolea
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®

Friday, April 30, 2021

Looking Back At All Who Die in 2016 part 4


23 – Pete Burns, Singer/Songwriter – founded the band Dead or Alive, “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)” – age 57

We’re only talking about him so we have an entry for October.
Actual effect on the world? None.

07 – Janet Reno, Attorney General of the United States 1993-2001 nominated by President Bill Clinton – age 78

It’s all good because Will Ferrell can stand in as a more feminine version of Janet Reno.
Actual effect on the world? None, we still have Will Ferrell.

11 – Robert Vaughn, Actor – Napoleon Solo in “The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (1964-’68) – age 83

The dude was in the final season of The A Team.
Actual effect on the world? No more creepy bug eyes.

24 – Florence Henderson, Actress / Singer – Carol Brady on “The Brady Bunch” (1969 to 1974) – age 82

The Gen Xers mom is now with Mike Brady.
Actual effect on the world?  There is hope for A Very Brady Funeral.

25 – Fidel Castro, Dictator – Prime Minister then President of Cuba from 1959-2008 then gave same powers to his brother – age 90

Good riddance to this communist piece of shit!
Actual effect on the world? It’s for the better.  It’s a shame freedom won’t ring out in Cuba.  It also showed how much of the liberal media failed to condemn him for how violent and horrible of a dictator he was.

25 – Ron Glass, Actor – Det. Ron Harris on “Barney Miller” (1975-1982) – age 71

Sheppard Book from Firefly/Serenity was a character that was never fully hashed out.  This lack of clarity made the fans wanting more.
Actual effect on the world? Since they killed him off in the Serenity there was no fear of a reprisal so minimal impact, unless they wanted to do a prequel.

08 – John Glenn, WWII & Korean War Fighter Pilot. Marine Colonel. NASA Astronaut. Senator from Ohio (1974-99). Married for 73 yrs – first American to orbit the Earth (1962) – age 95

A phenomenal American, a hero all around.
Actual effect on the world?  Space travel is mankinds greatest achievement and he made America believe in its value.

13 – Alan Thicke, Actor – Jason Seaver, the father on “Growing Pains” (1985-’92) – age 69

This is a bigger loss than David Bowie.
Actual effect on the world? Some of the greatest TV Theme songs were written by this man.  He might have had a few more in his belt.

18 – Zsa Zsa Gabor, Hungarian Actress and Socialite – Moulin Rouge (1952), married nine times to mostly wealthy men – age 99

Who didn’t love that accent?
Actual effect on the world? Ones less hottie in the world.

24 – Richard Adams, Author – Watership Down, The Plague Dogs – age 96

The dude wrote a book that killed too many bunnies.
Actual effect on the world? Less bunny genocide is a good thing.

25 – George Michael, Singer/Songwriter – #1 hits; “Faith”, “I Want Your Sex”, “Careless Whisper” – age 53

Was he the straightest gay man in the world or the gayest straight man in the world?
Actual effect on the world? Now we will never find out what that lewd act in the bathroom was.

27 – Carrie Fisher, Actress – Princess Leia in “Star Wars” (1977) and four sequels – age 60

George Lucas, Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher were the blockbuster film equivalent of The Beatles. Jaws may have started the blockbuster but Star Wars perfected it.  Fisher dying is like George Harrison dying.  She was a strong female film character when few existed.  Her contribution to one of the biggest pop culture films reverberated throughout the world. 
She also was a prominent script doctor in the 80s and 90s.
Actual effect on the world? The new movies are short an important character. Will they recast, kill her character off, CGI her?  More to come.

28 – Debbie Reynolds, Actress – Kathy Selden in “Singin’ in the Rain”, Mother of Carrie Fisher – age 84

It was stated a stroke killed her but everyone knows what really did her in.  This wouldn’t get a big mention except for the fact that it was the day after her daughter died.  Most people probably thought she was already dead.  The media enjoyed the tragic story of a mother dying of a broken heart after her daughter died.
Actual effect on the world? Since she was already in Abe Vigoda status not much.

Written by
Steve Rogers
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®

Friday, April 23, 2021

Making a Trekkie 101

Making a Trekkie 101

The word Trekkie is a term of endearment or a stigma depending on which clique you travel in.  For the people that deem Trekkie in the negative connotation it’s likely because they have never watched a Star Trek show before.  Many of their complaints have to deal with the campy technology limited 1960s TV series or the overly obsessed cosplayers that have made Star Trek the pop culture dynamo and stigma it is today.  There was the woman who won the right to wear her Star Trek uniform while serving jury duty. Then there was the stated his wife died during a transporter accident.    Being a Star Trek fan is harder than being a Star Wars fan.  Star Wars is universally accepted in society because of its simpler good versus evil theme.  Star Trek’s larger vision of the future, of humanity is a tougher concept to grasp. 

If you come across a Star Trek hater it’s likely they have never seen any form of the franchise and are hating on the super fanatics. 

The haters will always hate, so let’s just toss them aside.  There are however many people who’ve just never seen anything Star Trek and admittedly are open to the concepts.  You have sci-fi and comic fans, those are the easy conversions, then there are the clueless pop culture fans, they want to become fans or something but don’t know how. In either scenario there is a tried and true method for making a trekkie.

It starts with Star Trek II: The Wraith of Kahn.
When breaking someone into Star Trek it’s important to start with the films.  In particular it must be Star Trek II.  Never pitch the film to anyone as an awesome Star Trek movie, it must be sold as an awesome movie.  If a person cannot like Star Trek II then they have no soul and should be sent back to the hellish abyss where they were spawned from.  Always sell the film as a great stand along while also being realistic about how much Star Trek: The “Slow” Motion Picture sucked.  This establishes the Trekkie in training that you’re realistic about what’s good and bad.  Focus on showing them this one and only film don’t push beyond the one film or you risk alienating them of such a long endeavor of sitting on your ass. 
The original series films offer the best evaluation on whether a person can truly appreciate Star Trek.

If Wraith of Kahn is a hit immediately push Star Trek III: The Search for Spock.  It’s the perfect follow-up.

It’s a logical progression to Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. 

There is a bit of a speed bump with Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, if the person appreciates Shatner overacting this is a great film for them.  If you get the impression the potential Trekkie is not amused then it may be best to avoid this film and move right onto Star Trek: VI: The Undiscovered Country. 

If you have a person who can sit through 4 of the 6 original series films they are well on their way to becoming a full blown Trekkie.  If they fail at any point during the film phase then all hope is lost and find a new friend.

Where does one go after the film series? The next logical step is the TV shows.  But which series?  It depends on the viewer, if they like, Kirk, Spock and McCoy or 1960s campiness then start with the original series.  If they appreciate more character driven stories than star with Star Trek: The Next Generation. 

Whenever  Star Trek: The Next Generation is shown you must make it a point to either skip the first two season or watch them in fast forward and only show selected scenes or episodes.  If you’re a true expert that start from season 1 episode 1.  Most cannot manage this so just give a synapses of the first 2 seasons, explain who Q and Tasha Yar are and start with Season 3.   If they enjoy their TNG experience you’ve gotten yourself a Trekkie.  Immediately Show then Star Trek Generations and Star Trek: First Contact. Do not show them Insurrection or Nemesis.

From there it’s an easy move to Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (the best Star Trek series ever), then Star Trek Voyager (ekkk), and if they are still hanging on you swing right into Star Trek: Enterprise.

After they have been fully educated in Star Wars lore it’s no big whoop to show them JJ Abrams Star Trek. 

Alternately, if they hated Wrath of Kahn you can skip all of that and just show them JJ Abram Star Trek which is more action themed and probably makes them more of a fan of Star Wars than Star Trek.  Which is fun for parties but not for deep long discussions about life.

Once all the more lovable Star Trek media has been exhausted it’s very easy to go back and show them all the bad Star Trek you shielded them from throughout their Trekkie training.  If they begin to complain about how painful the bad is be sure to just respond with “I don’t want my pain taken away.  I need my pain. If we lose that we lost ourselves.” Make sure to overact it. If they are a true Trekkie they’ll appreciate it and you’ll know you’ve signed another one up for the cause.

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Written by
Joseph Ammendolea
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®