Mouse Trap (Colecovision) - TVG: Game Break #1

David Rerecich delves deep into the world of video games and other stuff in his fascinating web-series TV Games.

The Rough Dozen - A Very Rough Christmas

The Rough Dozen sing awesome Christmas songs for Christmas at the Queens Botanical Gardens!

Who is Herbert?

The artist, attendees, and The Fall85 of Comic Bar Con give us their best analysis of a modern day Mona Lisa.

The Artist at Comic Bar Con

Comic Bar Con Cosplayers

Meet some of the cosplayers at the 2015 Comic Bar Con Cosplayers.

The First National Kidisc - T.V. Games: Episode 25

David Rerecich delves deep into the world of video games and other stuff in his fascinating web-series TV Games.

Comic Bar Con - INBEON CON

Check out our interview with the show runner of Comic Bar Con.

Sewer Shark (Sega CD) - T.V. Games: Episode 24

David Rerecich delves deep into the world of video games and other stuff in his fascinating web-series TV Games.

Blue Movie Live

Blue Movie Live at some place in Manhattan.  We don't really remember where.  It's been awhile.

 

The Rough Dozen Live at the Queens Botanical Gardens

Watch The Rough Dozen Live at the Queens Botanical Gardens

The Rocky Horror Show (C64) - T.V. Games: Episode 23

It doesn't get more interesting then watching David Rerecich talk about something he's passionate about.

Foo Fighters - My Hero

Halloween is soon approaching so here is a random Foo Fighters cover band playing My Hero because we're phoning it in this week.

Jaws 19

The future is now, we've waited a long time for the events of Back to the Future Part II to unfold and the biggest longest awaited film every in history is Jaws 19.  Since Marty and Doc regularly mess with history it won't have some of the glam you may have expected but it was still made and it is something to behold.  So setback and enjoy the best Jaws movie since the Jaws II.

Power Games (Famiclones) - T.V. Games: Episode 22

It doesn't get more interesting then watching David Rerecich talk about something he's passionate about.

Jaws 19 Trailer

The future is now and the long awaited Jaws 19 trailer is here.  We'll be releasing the full movie on October 21, 2015.

Gamer Problems at Eternal Con

Watch Joe try to sort out his gamer problems at Eternal Con

Super Mario Maker: First Custom Levels/Overall Impression

It doesn't get more interesting then watching David Rerecich talk about something he's passionate about.

Klax - T.V. Games: Episode 21

It doesn't get more interesting then watching David Rerecich talk about something he's passionate about.

Eternal Con Cosplayers

The Cosplayers of 2015 Eternal Con

Game & Record Collection Picks-Ups: August 2015

It doesn't get more interesting then watching David Rerecich talk about something he's passionate about.

Larry Kenney the Voice of Liono at Eternal Con

Larry Kenney the voice of Liono tasting the rainbow at Eternal Con

The Artist at Inbeon Con

The Artist of Inbeon Con

Pigs in Space (+4 More Games) (Atari 2600) - T.V. GAMES: EPISODE 20

It doesn't get more interesting then watching David Rerecich talk about something he's passionate about.

The Cosplayers of Inbeon Con

Check out the awesome cosplayers of Inbeon Con and just how cool they are about everything.

INBEON CON and the official sponsor SOLAR CITY

Check out our first of many videos from from INBEON CON.

Atari 7800/Food Fight - T.V. GAMES: EPISODE 19

Are you not entertained? Then enjoy the best youtube host in the world David Rerecich as he nerds out with some important video game information.

2015 Eternal Con Vendors

Check out the hottest artist and vendors at the 2015 Eternal Con.

Game & Record Collection Picks-Ups: July 2015

Are you not entertained? Then enjoy the best youtube host in the world David Rerecich as he nerds out with some important video game information. 

Learn How to Use a Lightsaber at Eternal Con

Watch as these kids get taught the basics when it comes to lightsaber fighting.

Totally Rad (NES) - T.V. GAMES: EPISODE 18

Are you not entertained? Then enjoy the best youtube host in the world David Rerecich as he nerds out with some important video game information.

Fans of "I Like To Play With Toys" Productions®

We actually found some fans of "I Like To Play With Toys" Productions® at the 2015 Eternal Con!

Action Max - T.V. GAMES: EPISODE 17

Are you not entertained? Then enjoy the best youtube host in the world David Rerecich as he nerds out with some important video game information.

The Eternal Con Vendors

Buzz Bombers (Intellivision) - T.V. GAMES: EPISODE 16

Are you not entertained? Then enjoy the best youtube host in the world David Rerecich as he nerds out with some important video game information.

Burger King Games (Xbox) - T.V. GAMES: EPISODE 15

Are you not entertained? Then enjoy the best youtube host in the world David Rerecich as he nerds out with some important video game information.

Stargirl Interview

Happy 4th of July, upon special request here's an extended look at the the Stargirl interview at Eternal Con

TVG - Game, Misc Collection 2015

Are you not entertained? Then enjoy the best youtube host in the world David Rerecich as he nerds out with some important video game information.

The Eternal Con Cosplayers

Commodore 64 Educational Titles - T.V. GAMES: EPISODE 14

Are you not entertained? Then enjoy the best youtube host in the world David Rerecich as he nerds out with some important video game information.

Gigi Edgley Interview

Eternal Con 6/13/2015

I'm Your Man (Interactive Movie) - T.V. GAMES: EPISODE 13

It's TV Games with the best youtube host in the world David Rerecich.

The 2nd Red Ranger Plugs Eternal Con 6/13/2015-6/14/2015

Some Wrestler Guys Plug Eternal Con 6/13/2015-6/14/2015

The Dude From Gremlins Plugs Eternal Con 6/13/2015-6/14/2015

Colossus Plugs Eternal Con

Catherine Mary Stewart Plugs Eternal Con 6/13/15-6/14/2015

Shaq-Fu (Genesis/Mega Drive) - T.V. GAMES: EPISODE 12

It's TV Games with the best youtube host in the world David Rerecich.

The Last Dragon Comic Con Guy Plug Plugs Eternal Con 6/13/2015-6/14/2015

Eternal Con 2015 Commercial

An Eternal Con Promo

MikeTV Says Some Cool Shit and Plugs Eternal Con 6/13/2015-6/14/2015

TVG QUICKIE #5: Splatoon - First Impressions (WiiU)

It's TV Games with the best youtube host in the world David Rerecich.

DUMPED HAS BEEN DECLARD DECENT!!!

The reviews are in and Dumped has been declared decent.  Watch us celebrate.

Read for yourself at http://panandslam.com/2015/05/27/dumped-is-a-decent-directorial-debut/

My Year as a Page for The Late Show with David Letterman Part 7 of 7

Holiday Fun

The pages weren’t considered to be equal members of the staff.  It was made apparent around Holiday time.  The Late Show taped on Thanksgiving.  Since they were working on a Holiday they would provide a Thanksgiving meal, one was for the crew downstairs and the other for the office folks upstairs.  The pages were instructed they could attend either gathering.  A few other pages tried to attend the upstairs event because that was the one Letterman was most likely to attend.  It was also the best network opportunity because all the show leaders were at that one.  The crew wasn’t decision makers; they just ran the technical equipment and were cool to hangout with.  If someone wanted to cultivate a career they needed to go to the upstairs Thanksgiving party and network a little.   When the pages made it upstairs they were turned away by one of the producers saying they could only attend the downstairs crew party.  Letterman’s personal assistant had to overrule the producer to let the pages attend.  It was just awkward and added to the concept that pages were second-class citizens at the show.  There are more important jobs than others in organizations but that is why people are paid different rates.  Office events that are for everyone should be for everyone. 

There was a Late Show Christmas party but it cost a few hundred dollars to attend.  It was not a gift to the staff for a year of hard work.  Anyone could pay and attend but when you’re making just above minimum wage it’s really hard to justify a week’s pay to go to a party.  It seemed like they wanted to prevent the lower paid employees from attending and by charging they knew only high end people could afford to attend. 

To compensate for the pay Christmas party, a few audience coordinators organized their own free Christmas get together and invited everyone.  It was a nice evening, and the only evening I got to hang out with everyone post show.  We got dinner and then all met up at some club/bar and drank and danced together.  Roger didn’t dance and assumed I didn’t dance but the joke was on him because I am jiggy with it.  I even impressed Stephanie with my dance skills.  While walking to the club Donna played the most awesome joke on me.  She had me read a sign that said Bangkok and then hit me in the balls.  It sounds cruel but it was really playful and showed how chill she was and that she could roll with the boys.  I told her my Cockblocker Richie story and she taught me the female term "corker." 

I did get to work with a bunch of really cool people but like any place there are douches and they can really suck the energy and appreciation out of something if you let them.  Megan and a few others were upset about the Christmas gift we received from Letterman and also the Producers.   Letterman gave the pages a case of one of his gag audience gifts Explod-o-Pop Atomic Popping Corn.  I thought it was pretty cool because he didn’t have to give us anything.  Megan thought it was unfair that the rest of the staff got personalized World Wide Pants jackets.  The coat would have been cool but a gift is a gift is a gift.  The Producers gave us high-end binoculars with The Late Show logo on it.  These were real quality and probably very expensive binoculars.  I thought it was a cool concept because we spend out time watching the audience during the show; they gave us a devise for watching.  Others were less appreciative.  All I ever expected from them was to get paid for the hours I worked, anything more than that was a perk. 

You got a discount if you had coupons.

The Programs End

I hit a few milestones during my year at The Late Show with David Letterman.  Some were good some were bad.  I turned 21, which in America is a huge deal because you can legally drink.  When my birthday came and passed it was not acknowledge by any of my coworkers.  My grandmother had passed away during that year.  It was sad and I didn’t get a card or even an “I’m sorry for your loss” from any of my fellow pages.  That one hurt because I was bummed my grandmother died and also I saw them pass around cards to be signed for other people who experienced the same types of loss throughout the year.  The last big event for me was graduating from college.  I took the Saturday box office shift off and hit a pretty decent milestone.  One page managed to congratulate me on my accomplishment, the rest were rather indifferent. 

After my graduation in May it was only a matter of time before my tenure as a page would end.  I had just completed college and spent the last year seeing where my life was headed if I pursued an entertainment career.   I did have the benefit of The Late Show on my resume but witnessing first hand how cliquey and cutthroat my competitors were going to be I decided I needed to attain a graduate degree.  I applied to UCLA for film and Hofstra University for Speech Comm, Rhetoric, & Performance.  I got rejected from UCLA but accepted into Hofstra.  So I was attending graduate school in the hopes of keeping the party alive for a few more years.  You can read about my graduate school exploits in the Breakin’ Hundred Reunion article.

Donna was the only other person of the original four I learned about sexual harassment with to complete the entire program with me.  She stated when her time ran out she was moving back to Austin to be with her family because it was much too expensive and hard to live in New York.  I should have professed my love for her and begged her to take me along but I was a stupid kid.  During her stay she had moved out of her Aunts and in with some other current and former Late Show pages in the Manhattan.  She was working two jobs, one was The Late Show and the other was Starbucks or something.  Both jobs were barely above minimum wage.  She had no health benefits and everything she made went to pay the rent and food.  When Roger heard that she was heading home he was so confused why she would leave.  In his words he said “I don’t know why she would leave when she’s got it so good here.”

I guess that summed up the disconnect I had with the pages who were from outside of NY and carving out a life for themselves in the city.  They believed they were doing well.  I can’t say if they were or were not, but Roger was clearly happy with his direction.   I wanted something more than just getting by in life.  I was raised by a working class family and understood how difficult limited finances could be.  A person can spend their entire life trying to get that one opportunity to work on a TV show only to have their show cancelled after one episode.  For every Ben Schwartz, there were a million more nameless pages that never went anywhere. The entertainment industry is so fickle and shows are so fleeting you can have a job one day and lose it the next.  While that’s corporate America in general, there is a bit more work consistency outside of entertainment. 

As for my time at the Late Show, I wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world.  I know you just got a run down on a lot of the negative experiences but I can’t stress enough that 90% of my time there was beyond awesome. Seeing the joy on the audiences’ faces was one of the coolest things.  Talking with the audience and learning how far they traveled to see the show was amazing.  I met and spoke with people from all over the United States, Canada, Australia, and Europe.  These people were always so happy to be at the show and were always a pleasure to talk with.  I saw some of the most famous and/or influential people in the world speak live every night.  I experienced so many musical acts that I could have been the main character in a Cameron Crowe film.  Being able to tell people I worked at one of the most popular staples in pop-culture and helped entertain a few million people every night was tremendous.  It really made me feel like I was contributing to a better and happier world.  All of my other jobs since I left seemed a little less glamorous but much better paying. 

When I said my goodbyes to my friends and frenemies I told them all how I understood how tuff it was for them but if they continued to work hard it world get better.  I really hope in the 10 years since I have seen them that they attained their goals and/or are in a happy place in life.   Thank You and Good Night.

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7

"I Like To Play With Toys" Productions®

iliketoplaywithtoysproductions@yahoo.com

My Year as a Page for The Late Show with David Letterman Part 6 of 7

Love at the Late Show

Whenever it rained or snowed the audience would be instructed to lineup inside Roseland Theater and the pages would escort them in groups across the street to the Ed Sullivan Theater.  I was usually paired up with Elmer and Ellen.  

I decided to name him Elmer because he looked like Elmer Fudd with push backed Blonde hair.  He was from the Midwest and a recent NYU graduate.  His dream was to always move out to either LA or NYC and work in the entertainment industry.  He never seemed happy though.  

We seemed to like the same movies so that at least allowed for some decent small talk.  The conversations always had to be on his terms though.  If he was in a mood he’d be a snarky wise-ass you’d want nothing to do with.  He was one of these dudes I’d like to hang out with once or twice a month.  Dealing with him for 30 hours a week was pushing it.  It was frustrating trying to hang out with this dude.  

He was able to get his college friend Ellen a job as a page too.  She was really cool, wanted to be a director, and I liked picking her brain about filmmaking.  We didn’t have the same taste but I really enjoyed her perspectives because they were different from mine.  I don’t think she always appreciated my opposing viewpoints though.  She also managed Elmer pretty well.  She knew how to get him to stop being a pain in the ass.  I could never get a handle on what their relationship was though.  Were they friends or were they more than friends, then again I didn’t really care. 

One rainy afternoon I escorted the first group of people across the street into the theater while Ellen and Elmer stayed behind and babysat the second group. I go back for the second group and see Elmer and Ellen talking.  Ellen looks really upset so I ask if she’s okay.  She starts crying, I go to give her a hug, because that’s what you do when people cry, but Elmer got in my way.  He gets uncomfortably close to me and I figure I should just stay out of it.  I have no clue what he did to make her cry but I can only guess they brought a lovers quarrel to work (if they were even an item).  

There weren’t that many internal relationships that I came across while I was there.  I can tell you that the pages and some higher-level people used the audience line as their own personal hookup service.  Frank, who was Bob’s number 1 guy told me he used the standby line as his own personal dating pool.   Frank looked like an Abercrombie and Fitch model with chiseled facial feature and a slim build.  He always dressed like those men from the fashion catalog.  If you saw this dude you would know he had no problems getting women.  

The standby line was a number that people would call the day of the show and get placed on a list and told to lineup a little while before the show.  If people who were on the guaranteed ticket list didn’t show up they would tap into the standby line to fill the theater.  Frank told me his method for getting dates from the line was just some friendly conversation and asking them if they were free after the show.  He’d get their number and call them.  

Stand here to hook up with Frank.

I had just broken up with my girlfriend and decided to try out his system if the opportunity had arisen.  Sure enough about 5 college girls were visiting NYC and got tickets to the show.  I hit it off with all of them very well but didn’t have my cellphone to get their number.  So I asked my colleague Richie who was also chatting with them to program their number in his cell.  He did so and the plan was to meet up with them after the show.  When the show ended Richie told me he was really tired and going to head home.  He also told me he deleted their number.  I had no way of getting in touch with these girls.  I tried to see if they were hanging around outside the theater but they were long gone. 

The next day I find out from another page Jason that he went out with Richie and met up with those girls.  WHAT A COCKBLOCKER!  This jerkwad from Brick, NJ swooped in and stole 5 girls from me and shared them with Jason (who was a bit clueless about the situation).  After that I decided to refer to Richie as a cockblocker whenever I saw him but only when the audience higher-ups were not present.  He really had no clue how many guy codes he broke by doing that.  

It was really my own fault I guess.  This was the guy who rated women as either a 0 or a 1.  Zero meaning he wouldn’t have sex with them and one meaning he would.  I gave up trying to find love on the Late Show line since other pages were just going to cash in on my hard work.  It was just easier to get back together with my ex-girlfriend. 

Jokeless Jokesters

Apparently the concept of sarcasm is lost on people who work for a comedy show.  I’ll admit my sense of humor is on the dry side of life.  But anyone with a TV should have witnessed some form of sarcasm.  These Midwest folks were a bit slow.  I made a joke saying that Central Park should be paved over and turned into a parking lot.  I was yelled at by one page named Scott who thought it was the most ridiculous thing he ever heard because Central Park was the most beautiful part of NYC.   I couldn’t waste such a hilarious reaction to what’s clearly a ridiculous proposition.  So I just told him it was wasted real estate.  He wrote me off as a lost cause and quit a week later.  He actually didn’t quit over me, he landed a job at HBO but it would have been hilarious if he quit over some boy from Queens thinking Central Park should become a parking lot. 

I also got an earful when I told the girl who formerly worked at Disneyworld in the Goofy costume that Disney was a soulless corporation trying to corrupt America’s young female population into gender stereotypes.  She really loved Disney.   I think that’s why I didn’t get an invite to her wedding.  Most of the other pages were invited but I was left off the list. 

None of them had any money so they all chipped in to buy her a fancy bottle of wine.  I’ve stated before how hard up for cash these people were so they gave what they could.  I had a bit more disposable income because I lived with my parents and also being from NY I understood the marriage gift system.  You give cash and it’s usually enough to cover your meal, if you have the finances.  I’m sure she’s doing just fine in life without my wedding gift. 

Roger was one of the people who could tell when I was joking even though he could only fake laugh at things.  When Elmer asked Roger about his nail biting habit I quipped Roger wasn’t breast fed as a child and it causes him to bite his nails.  Elmer believed it for a hot second until Roger called out my shenanigans.  

As we all know by now Roger was just a stick in the mud.  A job opportunity to be a researcher opened up and was posted for the pages to apply.  I was excluded from eligibility because I was still in college.  When talking about the job with Roger, I mentioned how it was a bummer I couldn’t apply because I would have done really well in that job.  Roger proceeds to laugh at me (with his fake grumble) and say that his girlfriend was a pro at research in college and would annihilate me.  I know this article is a bit on the jaded side but I’d never tear someone down like that. He wasn’t funny, he was just mean. 

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7

"I Like To Play With Toys" Productions®

iliketoplaywithtoysproductions@yahoo.com

My Year as a Page for The Late Show with David Letterman Part 5 of 7

Tattletale Saturdays

Saturday and Sunday the office was closed but the box office was opened.  The pages worked the box office giving out tickets.  The majority of those week’s tickets were distributed to tourists who walked in on Saturday/Sunday looking for tickets later in the week.  These were the worst working days because they were 8 hour-long days coupled with hours of downtime.  A busy workday goes fast, a slow workday sucks.  We couldn’t stand outside and solicit people to see the show because remember we wanted genuine fans.  So we sat around waiting for potential audience members (PAMs) to come in. 

What’s ironic is when they were low on ticket distributions The Late Show would send audience coordinators out during the weekdays to solicit people to see the show.  A page could not do the same type of promoting in front of the box office though. 

Angelo's pizza opened in 2004/2005.  The double Monday pizza was from Luigi's.

I would work either a Saturday or a Sunday but never both days.  If I was a millionaire I’d have requested to only work during the actual tapings because these days were truly brutal.  Unfortunately the bulk of my paycheck resulted from working these days and I needed money for beer and I guess college books.  They’d assign 4 Late Show pages to work the day and 2 audience coordinators to run their assessment mojo. The doors opened at 9am and closed at 5pm.

Remember I was in college at the time so I was usually hung over those mornings.  Starting out I was usually paired up with a rotating roster of uhh Megan, Mario, Elmer, and Eric (I really suck at making up fake names for people).  They were such a pain in the ass when it came to closing up shop.  They would never close before the 5-o-clock whistle.  The audience coordinators would take off at 4:45pm or sooner if they hit their required audience numbers for the week.  Without the coordinators there would be no one to screen these PAMs.  The pages would insist on sucking every last minute out of keeping that door open.  I wasn’t saying close-up shot at 3pm, but 4:55pm wouldn’t have killed anyone. 

Well it turns out they had good reason to run the clock out to the last possible second. Prior to my working weekends, Megan and Eric held a competition to see who can keep their arms above their heads the longest.  It got rather comical when PAMs came in.  Megan and Eric had to come up with creative ways to hand out Late Show ticket applications.  The PAMs thought it was amusing that people were having fun at work, which fit with the overall theme the pages were supposed to be selling the audience on in the first place.  An audience coordinator by the name of Han Solo (I named her Han Solo because she dressed like the renegade during Halloween) complained to the higher ups that the pages were not being professional.  This trickled down the chain of command and caused a bit of paranoia and tension between the pages and the coordinators. 

Megan and Mario were the senior pages working the weekends and had an understanding with me.  I let them know Sundays were difficult for me to arrive on time.  My bus and train ran less frequent and much slower on Sunday.  In fact the F train made local stops on Sunday that added an extra half hour onto my commute.  Even though I was leaving an hour earlier and walking to a different bus stop to do what I could to get there on-time I could be anywhere from 5-15 minutes late.   I’d usually cut my lunch short or work through it completely to make-up the time.  The mornings were slow and all I missed helping out with was set-up.  On Saturdays when I got there early, I wouldn’t wait for the pay clock to start, I would just set-up. 

After Megan and Mario completed the program they created a new position called Key Page.  It was basically putting someone in charge to make sure everything ran smoothly.  Rather then put the most senior page in charge, which would have been Elmer they decided to assign it to David Letterman’s biggest fan.  We’ll call him Roger.  Roger was a former intern and graduate of Ball State University.  The same college Letterman went to.  Roger would constantly talk about how he created a show just like The Late Show in college and he was a bit of a celebrity on his campus.  I never had the heart to tell him no one watched college TV.  I knew this because at the time I was taking classes at the TV studio in my college, and no one watched.

Roger’s dream was to work for Letterman, and my guess is have his love child.  He was exactly where he wanted to be.  That was all cool stuff, that he was on track to accomplish his goals in life.  I gave him “mad props yo” for pulling that off.  What was fucking annoying, was how overly serious he took his position.   When PAMs walked in he’d be the first one up to pass out that ticket application.  A page would have to compete against him to get down there and help the person.  The applications were further back in the lobby and he’d grab the materials and rush to the front of the entrance.  It clogged up the line for people coming in behind them.  If he was patient and waited for the PAMs to approach the table where all the paperwork and pages were standing around it would have allowed other PAMs to enter with ease.  It was a constant cluster-fuck if we got flooded with ticket seekers.  Luckily weekends were about 2-4 people an hour so it wasn’t usually an issue.  But he made it impossible for anyone else to step up and assist PAMs because he had to be the first one up to help them.  I love keeping busy at work but he seemed like he really wanted to be the guy who spoke with everyone and I just let him.  It was less work for me. 

Thank you Roger sunny person.

Roger became the guy checking audience members in at the door before tapings.  Sadly, I was the guy sending people to him.  Roger moved a bit too fast with the check in process.  The point of the line process wasn’t to rush people in.  You were supposed to move efficiently but also make small talk so the audience so as to keep their spirits up.  He’d constantly rush them into the lobby and overfill it.  It would clear the line outside too quick and audience members who had notices telling them to lineup outside were lost on where to go because the outside line disappear inside.  This was because they couldn't find people on line outside.  They were all crammed inside already.  It was utter confusion when he pulled this crap.  I would try to slow the line down just so people arriving later would know where to hop on the line.  Roger would constantly complain to me that the line is moving too slow.  He’d balk that Bob was yelling at him to move the line.  One, Bob never yelled. Two, I could see into the lobby and knew exactly how well the lineup process was going.  

His other malfunction had to do with IDs.  Audience members were instructed on their paperwork to have IDs ready when they arrived for check in.  They were reminded by every single page they spoke with while lined up outside.  I personally told each one of them as they passed me and walked up to Roger they needed their IDs out.   Roger still insisted on yelling as loud as possible that IDs needed to be out when they arrived at his post.  What was really insulting was he made certain to do it every time Bob was outside or within ear distance so as to make it look like I was not informing the audience of the line-up process. 

I never could understand how anyone could stand to listen to him talk about how great of an employee he was and that’s why they made him Key Page.  I’m sure his Key Page title got him a few extra cents an hour, and he certainly needed it.  He was living with his girlfriend Linda and another college friend of theirs, Jen.  All of them were pages at The Late Show.  They shared a two-bedroom apartment and his dad had to give him money to help make the rent.  Growing up in the Midwest his parents were divorced and his father wasn’t really in his life.  He’d talk about his mom with a lot of pride and she seemed like a really cool lady.  He mentioned how she led a movement to educate women on the importance of breast-feeding.  He insisted that she contained vast knowledge about marriage and divorce through her direct working something or other.  He was also a Mets fan and would constantly syphon off their player roster when his spoke sports, as if it would help them win more games.  If I had a nickel for every time he talked about how the Mets had Carlos Beltran and how he was their best player, I’d have a lot of nickels.  I never met a person that could be such a jerk and so boring at the same time. 

His conversion to jerk was at the flip of a switch too.  One moment you’d have a pleasant conversation and the next he’d just snap, raise his voice, and box you out.  The Britney Spears Vegas wedding scandal broke during our tenure together and we were discussing it.  He said he didn’t understand how she could have gotten the marriage annulled.  I tried to explain it was a legal annulment and not a religious one but he started flipping out saying I was wrong and he knows this because his mother worked on these things.  Since he was yelling at me I decided to get a little snarky back and told him his mom might know what she’s doing but that doesn’t qualify him as an expert.  He whatevered me and declared that I knew everything.  Which was the only correct statement he managed to make in that conversation. 

The dude wanted to be a comedy writer but I never heard him tell a joke.  His girlfriend was also a Ball State Graduate and former intern.  They were this dynamic duo of bland.  I tried my best to not talk around or to them but also not be rude and ignore them.  I wanted to focus on the job, but 8 hours days with minimal audience traffic made it really hard.  When Megan was running the show she complained to me saying that I was too quiet during the weekend shifts.  I was usually hung-over but I tried to put in an effort to be more personable.  Whatever I did was no win.  If I kept quiet they complained to me and if I spoke they were attitude-y about it.

One particular Saturday I was exceptionally hung-over, I mean sick.  I called the box office and informed Linda I wasn’t coming in because I was sick.  She actually sounded caring and concerned.  I’d never seen that side of her.  My usual interactions with her were a monotone voice and what may have been jokes or mean comments made at my expense.  I’d really like to think she was joking.   

The following Monday, I informed Bob that I called out sick on the weekend shift.  Bob wasn’t aware I was out, he thanked me and adjusted my hours so I didn’t get paid for time I didn’t work.  What happened afterwards is all speculation on my part.  Bob must have went to Roger and told him about how I was sick and Roger needs to send that up the ladder.  Roger then must have thought he was getting in trouble decided to narc on me.  Roger had expressed his dislike to me that I was late on Sundays and then passed it along to Bob.  I think Roger said I was not talking to the PAMs that entered the box office, which was an impossible feat considering that Roger was dry humping their leg the moment they came through the door. 

What I do know is that I get a message on my machine from Bob about an adjusted schedule and a really pleasant and professional message telling me that it’s important that I get there on time because he’d heard I was slacking off a bit.  That was not the case at all though.  I was commuting to Manhattan from Queens on a Sunday morning.  It wasn’t impossible but it was a pain.  I did not have the luxury of living in a studio apartment in Manhattan with 5 other people and being able to hop on one train and be there in 5 minutes.  I also didn’t live a few blocks away from the Ed Sullivan Theater; Roger didn’t see it that way.  He must have felt it was a blight on The Late Show institution that he so loved.  I know I was doing a good job because even the Han Solo audience coordinator complimented my work ethic.  She appreciated how on point I was with everything.  I guess I just wasn’t as on point as Roger was.

So my solution was to wake up super early and arrive at the theater hours before I needed to be there.  Sometimes the building wasn’t even open when I got there so I had to wander around Manhattan killing time.  I know midtown really well because of it.  Then during the actual shift I grabbed a clipboard with the ticket application and hung out upfront talking with the security guards most of the day.  This way I could beat Roger to all the PAMs that wandered in.  This is how I ran out the weekend clock for the remainder of my tenure there.  The very first weekend after his voicemail Bob told me he heard I did a really good job.  I debated telling him how I always do a good job and even Han Solo can attest to it and that Roger made it impossible to help anyone because he was so overzealous but no one wants to waste his or her time with this petty bullshit so I just thanked him.  What pissed me off about the compliment was that someone was reporting back to him about my progress.  I could see Linda eyeballing me every weekend we ended up working together from that day forward.  But I couldn’t tell if Linda or Roger or both were informing on me.   

I did get to know security really well.  They were cool people.  I learned that the security company was not affiliated with the Late Show.  They were affiliated with an outside company affiliated with the building.  The security people were some of the coolest people working there and I related to them much easier than Roger and friends.  There was Jimmy who was from British Guiana and explained how Social Security worked.  We had a man named Leo who constantly told a story about how he gave a homeless woman a dollar everyday and when she died it turned out she had 8 million dollars in cash in her smelly shopping carts.  One of the more interesting guys was Jack, a retired army sergeant who did security, ran a dog walking business and was trying to convince me to join the army and work in their USO program.  I was really close to graduation so I was open to career options at that point.  I became really close with Carlton who was only a year younger than myself; we hit it off really well.   He’s another person I wish I’d kept in touch with.  All the guards there had a sense of humor and laughed at my lame jokes and I never felt boxed out or not included by them even though they were security and I was a page.  I don’t think I had a single life experience similar to any of them but it was never a factor. 

They were super awesome!

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7

"I Like To Play With Toys" Productions®

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