DCEU Review Series
The Flash
2023
Director: Andy Muschietti
We’ve talked about reasons to boycott this film and stand true to that stance. Our main issues stem from Ezra Miller’s poor conduct and how WB had the ability to edit him out and recast him, considering the money they dropped on Batgirl and didn’t release the film. A few extra dollars replacing the star actor with a person who has better morals is certainly possible with the technology. Kevin Spacy was completely removed from All the Money in the World and replaced with Christopher Plummer.
With that said, even without the controversies of its leading man, the CGI is something out of 1998. It looks cheap and unrealistic. Flash saves a bunch of babies from falling out of a building and it’s the worst effects ever. It’s not compelling, funny, entertaining, or important to the plot. Ezra Miller’s performance with his high squealed voice and comedic timing is grating on the ears when leading a film.
Ben Affleck and Gal Gadot return as Batman and Wonder Woman in their last appearances to-date. Some lame jokes occur, coupled with lame action. The movie then tries to set up Barry Allen just like Peter Parker in Spider-Man 2 but with none of the interest or endearment that film had. The nondescript Indian/Pakistany boss that’s a douchebag to him but also saying he likes him was ripped right from Spider-Man 2.
We then get some lame clunky exposition about Barry’s family history. The film tries to not make it clunky, they just failed. Some points for effort at least. Barry wants to travel back in time to stop his mom from getting killed and his dad being framed for her death. Bruce Wayne tells him it’s a bad idea.
He ignores the advice and goes back anyway. Flash changes crap, causes problems. Then starts talking to his past self. His past self is a bigger more annoying douchebag than present self. It’s supposed to be funny but it’s just annoying. The film unknowingly acknowledges the annoying thinking it’s being funny but nope, just annoying. The time doubles is painful. Doubling up on an unlikable actor, playing the same character, with that screeching voice, is nails on a chalkboard.
Older Flash loses his powers in the time whammy but makes certain Young Flash gets his powers. Old Flash thinks that will power him up but it doesn’t work. His fiddling with time takes us back to Man of Steel and the Zod invasion is happening. This is actually a cool idea, though not very original, they go back to the film which starts the entire DCEU. The intent of this film, was a soft reboot of the DCEU but it evolved into a hard reboot. The Flash’s time alterations have caused all these crazy changes to history.
Flash and Young Flash pay a visit to Bruce Wayne for advice but come across Michael Keaton Batman instead on Ben Affleck Batman because time has changed him. Michael Keaton explains time as a river, not fixed points. Therefore if you change something in the past it ripples backwards and forward. An original and appreciated twist on time the travel trope.
Keaton’s appearance adds a nice balance of energy but is far different from the version of Batman he played in 1989. As required when using super heroes who are “retired,” they always say no first, then after plot progression change their mind and say yes. In this case he experiences no plot progression, just randomly changes his mind. Batman agrees to help the Flashes to find Superman in order to stop Zod.
Batman and the Flashes bust into some government compound and we see Batman pull off fighting moves that he never did in Batman 1989 or Batman forever. He’s not the same guy. The director wants us to feel nostalgia, but he never fought like that. Or maybe the creators wanted Christian Bale to comeback but he said no. They come across Supergirl while trying to find Kal L. She’s being kept in a red sun chamber to stifle her powers. Once she gets some sun she proceeds to beat the crap out of all the guards at the facility.
They return to Wayne Manor and Batman offers to help Older Flash get his powers back. Supergirl steps in to add the final touch. Supergirl, Batman, both Flashes team-up to stop Zod. Fights ensue, nothing spectacular or interesting. They fail but Young Flash decides to go back in time and start making fixes, Old Flash follows. They do this a few times and keep failing. Young Flash bugs the fuck out and keeps trying which causes all the universes to collide. Then they start fighting a really old Flash. We see a few different versions of DC characters in films through the years. A crappy CGI Christopher Reeves Superman, 1960s Batman, a funny nod to the film that never was Nicholas Cage Superman fighting a giant spider. Older Flash realizes he needs to let his mom get violently murdered in order to save all of existence.
The only time change he can do is allow his dad to be exonerated for her murder. His alteration causes George Clooney to become Batman. It’s supposed to be funny but Miller overplays the joke and ruins it.
This film is a turdfest. Whatever decent parts and ruined by a poorly acted and written lead character. Supergirl was cool, Michal Keaton Batman was enjoyable. Ezra Miller ruins this film. It’s not even his personal life actions. It’s his horrible acting. After this the rest of the DCEU is just burn off because they were too far into production to cancel the projects outright.
Written by
Joseph Ammendolea
Owner/President
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®
ILikeToPlayWithToysProductions@Yahoo.com
