DCEU Review Series
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom
2023
Director: James Wan
The torture is finally over. The last DCEU film. We didn’t like the first Aquaman but the audience and critics seemed to tolerate it. Therefore it got a sequel. Aquaman is sporting his traditional comic clothes and beating up pirates and recounting the story to his son and dad Boba Fett. We get a lame voiceover from him summing up the first film. We see Amber Turd have Aquaman’s baby’s excrement hit him in the face. Life imitates art.
Aquaman is not too happy about his role as King of Atlantis but isn’t miserable. He’s somewhere in the middle. Meanwhile in the arctic some scientist and Black Manta find a monster. Aquaman needs to bust his brother Ocean Master out for help. Some mediocre action ensues and now we have a 48hrs style comedy with Aquaman and Ocean Master. Perhaps it’s more of a rip off of when Thor teamed up with Loki in Thor Ragnorok.
They journey to Black Manta, action ensues. There’s a fairly nice fight sequence here, Black Manta takes on Ocean Master and Aquaman at the same time. Then it gets overloaded with CGI and loses all its cool factor.
We finally get information about The Lost Kingdom, the 7th ocean kingdom. They got frozen solid for being douchebags. Black Manta discovers them thanks to global warming. To awaken the people in The Lost Kingdom it requires blood from the royal family. Aquaman’s baby is target number one. Black Manta severely injures Boba Fett who’s babysitting, Aquaman and friends show up after all the excitement. Amber Turd overacts the crap out of the scene.
Everyone teams up to rescue Aquaman’s baby. A giant assault on Black Manta’s base happens. We’re left to wonder if a six-year-old wrote this. We get another fight between Aquaman and Black Manta. The fight’s pretty cool until it gets overly CGI again. Ocean Master gets possessed by the true big bad Kordax. Aquaman talks him down but not before Kordax bust lose. Aquaman throws his trident at Kordax, killing him. As everything starts to collapse Black Manta chooses to die instead of being saved by Aquaman.
Aquaman decides to fake Ocean Master’s death as a backdoor way of giving him his freedom. The we get some lame ass Superman IV: The Quest for Peace ending where Aquaman gives a speech to a bunch of people. And the last sequence in the DCEU is Ocean Master eating a hamburger and adding a cockroach for flavor. A perfect summary of the entirety of DCEU. A burger with a cockroach in it.
The film does not move. It’s a giant standstill 40 minutes in. A common problem with DCEU movies. It doesn’t get remotely interesting until the 1hr 17min mark. It then gets very boring again. This film is a dud. The DCEU opened with a soul sucking intro via Man of Steel and closes out with a less than mediocre Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom. Let’s be grateful this universe has been put out to pasture.
Written by
Joseph Ammendolea
Owner/President
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®
ILikeToPlayWithToysProductions@Yahoo.com
