DCEU Review Series
Wonder Woman
2017
Director: Patty Jenkins
Folks went nuts over this film and it’s not because it’s spectacular. It just happened to be the best DCEU film to come out at the time. It’s not terrible but it’s certainly not great. It’s average. We get a drawn-out origin story on the island of all women and a little girl version of Wonder Woman with a terrible accent. We get some boring backstory about a hidden weapon which can kill a god which the all women island has, the twist is telegraphed so bad they could have tattooed if on Wonder Woman’s head. She’s the god killer. It’s painful when you can call a twist like that within seconds.
Then she’s an adult and Steve Trevor shipwrecks on this island, a fight breaks out between the island babes and the WW I Germans who were following Trevor. Why is it WW I? Because DC can’t completely tip off Captain America and set it in WW II. So they just took a digit off the war. The Germans of WW I weren’t evil like the Nazi’s of WW II. Sadly, most folks are completely ignorant of history and don’t even know the difference. Hollywood called that one right.
All the women on the island talk like they’re cavemen or heavy smokers. It’s incredibly annoying. Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) does his best William Shatner overacting impression while under the influence of the magic lasso, forcing him to spew out a bunch of film exposition.
Some woman is making poison gas and Stevie boy has the intel which can stop them. Wonder Woman is like, yo that’s our mortal enemy Ares (the Greek god of war). Of course her mother/amazon leader doesn’t want her to go. She goes against orders and takes off with Steve Trevor anyway.
It moves a little slow on the island with some moments of humor which are mildly amusing. The moments between Gal Gadot and Chris Pine are enjoyable but even their chemistry doesn’t make the plot any better.
Wonder Woman is swept into the contemporary world of the early 20th century. She’s somehow the strongest/wisest person in the world and super naïve at the same time. There are lots of comedic moments. Then she starts nagging every guy she meets when things don’t go the way she wants. Her voice becomes nails on a chalkboard. We cannot forget Wonder Woman’s awe of Sir Patrick Morgan who’s proclaiming peace and “curse your sudden by inevitable betrayal” he’s actually Ares. Another lame twist anyone with a walnut sized brain could see from a mile away.
When Steve Trevor cannot convince his leaders to perform an operation to end the war, Trevor recruits a bunch of other randos with annoying accents to infiltrate enemy lines. Every guy that meets her is in love with her. Probably the best part of the film is when Diana comes across a traditional WW I battlefield and leads a charge over a “no man’s land” ending a standstill. The Wonder Woman nag fest wasn’t fun but the action was cool. And of course in all major fights women have to let their hair down to kick ass, not put it up.
After the cool action sequence, the film completely stops in its tracks to develop the love story between Wonder Woman and Steve Trevor. Then they infiltrate some party which is also German High Command because all generals throw fancy dances in the middle of a war.
Wonder Woman is convinced some German general is Ares in disguise but everyone with half a brain already knows it’s the Sir Patrick. When she finally kills the German guy who’s a total douchebag and has it coming, nothing happens. Then she starts nagging again with that screech because the war doesn’t end. For all the fun stuff in this movie, Wonder Nagger sucks the energy out. Ares shows up so now she has to have another fight with the actual big bad.
They spend way too much time talking and not enough time fighting. Steve Trevor cannot just sit on the sidelines because whenever a girl is the action hero, the male love interest has to have his own moment of saving people. But when the guy is the action hero, the woman can just be a damsel in distress. Steve dies trying to prevent toxic gas from killing a bunch of people. Wonder Woman is busy fighting Ares so she can’t save her man from dying.
She defeats the bad guy. The war ends. We get some lame voiceover about love saving the world. Overall the film is entertaining but it’s really not good. It moves slow and the action does not balance out the boredom. It’s was certainly the best DCEU film made up to this point but the threshold is low. It’s a rip off of Marvel’s Captain America, changing just enough around to avoid copyright infringement. I’d complain about the characters but the film really only seems to have two; Wonder Woman and Steve Trevor. The rest is background dressing. Even the villain is barely featured in this story. DC thought they cracked the formula with this because of all the positive press they received and money they made but it was window dressing.
Written by
Joseph Ammendolea
Owner/President
“I Like To Play With Toys” Productions®
ILikeToPlayWithToysProductions@Yahoo.com
